We are back from Tottori!
And spending days in Tokyo and Nagano as usual
Everyday is truly made happen by so many people's support
Allowing us to move forward
To stay strong
And to continue making effort
For all of your support and passion,
Thank you so much!!!!
Because I can feel these encouragement from people,
I am always able to feel this very strong
Result is not something you wait for
But result is something that has to be made
Making effort is very important matter
But I do not like the kind of effort that only statisfies your feeling
I need the result
That is why
I do not want to wait for an outcome
But I want to make a result for the things that I have been doing
To give a meaning for the things that I have been doing
I believe it is a matter of how to preceive it
But I feel that
there is a kind of outcome that others make judgement on
there is a kind of outcome that is judged by yourself
No matter what happens,
It is you
Who can make it to "I am glad that has happened to me!"
Even if 100 out of 100 people would feel sorry for you,
You have the choice
With your effort afterward,
To make it to something that you appreciate it has happened to you
To put it in another words,
If I fall, I want to earn something as I get up
In order to do this,
It depends solely on my action after I fall or stumble
I dont want to regret my actions
Right now, I can only look forward and move forward
Even if it is hard
Even my heart is nearly crushed (or has been crushed)
I want to give a meaning for the things that I have been doing
By proceeding under such strong feeling,
A result will always be made
And sometimes, this can sound more like
An outcome had followed you
I wish I could describe this in a better way.....
But that is the best way I can say it now....
Right now, is the time to make the effort
To stay strong
Because we have these people who encourage us!!!
That is why, for this time of life, rather than giving up,
I wish him to keep challenging!!!!
Im sorry for an unorganized blog,
But we are able to keep trying because of your support!!!
It seems a bit strange....
But I like it cause it's funny ^^
These days has been so fulfilling, it doesn't seems to be only 3 days
Junko san is our wonderful supporter in our entire schedule and also caring us mentally
She really giving us much hospitality in every detail
and most of all
really understanding our feelings in coming to a place completely new
Her support means so much to us!!!
And the father of the house that provided us a space and living
Even in his busy time,
He took me to the Daisen Mountain and such places
And telling me many many stories!!
This day, he also took me into the wilderness for a retreat
For me, there is not a place better than nature to feel the happiness
Feels like trees
are cheering for me
But this time,
Not only nature,
But many and truly many kind of people are cheering for us!!
"Keep it up!!"
Far away from London, Daisuke san is supporting us in many ways
Through Daisuke san, through Junko san,
many people are giving us cheers!
Through blog and facebook,
so many cheers and motivation from people!
And even since we arrived here in Tottori,
We were given cheers from many people for our success!
I dont have the ability to translate everything to Santosh
But I want him to feel all these support from people
Telling him, "GANBARE"! (means, "keep it up" "do your best")
Santosh, being put into a team without ways of communication,
must be very stressful for him
He have to assume
all the practice menu and instructions from coaches
by observing other's movements and facial expression
and the style of soccer is completely different between Nepal and Japan
It was very difficult and depressing for him to keep up with the speed and style of Japanese soccer
But every often, the player, Mr.Okamoto continues to make communication with Santosh!
Even spliting his focus from his own practice,
He has been supporting Santosh throughout the entire practice!
Really and truly has been a great support for Sansosh!
I wish kids could also grow up to be a wonderful player like him!
I would like to write something very honestly
This challenge for Santosh is very challenging and difficult to succeed
It has been 4 years since people were telling me his performance has been declining
And for the past 8 months, the Nepal soccer league has been recessed
In such condition, Santosh is making this trial
In Nepal, he is a hero
Everyone knows about him
Which must make him to be proud of himself
and people would treat him very respectfuly
But being such person, Santosh is rebuilding his body again
And coming from the top, he had to experience a great sense of failure
Yesterday's practice was in match situation
He could not catch up with other's movements
Was merely out of stamina
That he became so depressed about himself
I could not find a word to tell him...
The father of the house trying to refresh his feelings, asked him to go out for site seeing
but he didn't even have that energy to go out
"Did the coach told you if I can join the practice tomorrow?"
"When do we have to leave?"
In Nepal, Santosh was the youngest player to become a professional,
And he is making the record of most goals in Nepal, almost reaching to 100 goals in a season
A person who has been rewarded many times,
is being so lost of confidence that he was saying words of his broken heart.
"Most of all, I dont want to make you spend any more money on me
With my ability, I cannot make this happen"
Being so depressed,
at that night,
our host gathered people to run a encouraging party
Kids joined the event wanting to meet with Santosh
And even other guests at the restaurant encouraged Santosh to make an effort!
"Santosh Dont give up!!!"
And the father of the house,
"hold on Santosh!"
"Even if you think that you cannot make it,
There is a big difference between
Giving all that you have,
And simply giving up right now!"
After the dinner,
Santosh's feeling was moving up and down rapidly
I called to my husband for advice
Oni coach (my husband) was saying
to only focus on the strength he has, to performe his keen instict
Being told, Santosh said,
"I understand what eveyone tells me
I understand their feelings as well.
But today, I gave out my 100% performace
That is why I don't think I can make this happen.
And I dont want to waste your money and time anymore"
Telling me with such regretful expression
But I asked him,
"Then do you really understand my purpose here?"
"To improve my soccer skill?
To do for the children?
To accumulate my experience? etc"
But I told him he is wrong
"Ofcourse that is part of it, but none of them is the main purpose!"
He was telling me I was being like a teacher in a class room and he hated it.
He was mentioning that he is regretful for not doing a training during his off season.
But I continued,
"What I truly want from you,
regardless of the situation,
in any moment,
I want you to choose to be an example for the children,
to overcome an obstacle, to make an effort, to hold on,
And to tell them what you learn from your experience
That is why, YOU HAVE to overcome this challenge right now!
Saying what you should have done or saying it is impossible,
What is it that you can do now?
What is it that you can proceed from your yesterday?
By controlling your mind
And controlling your heart
Tomorrow's 100% can be more than today
So please do it!!!
If you give up right now,
Then that would really be the waste of my entire effort!!
Now is the time Santosh,
started to slam on his chest, saying
He continued over and over
To do more today than yesterday
To do more tomorrow than today
If we could renew the record of making effort everyday,
Then we wll never regret!!
And what I also discussed with Santosh is that
There's dream, hope and purpose
If we make our dream to be our hope
Then making our hope to be our purpose
And if we continue to make 100% effort,
Our dream will become our reality.
But every time our dream changes,
Our difficulties and challenge become bigger
Then gradually we have less time to feel the fun
But our joy in life becomes bigger and bigger
Today, Santosh was making his best effort!!!
He turned around his feelings, and stayed strong in his heart
To do all that he can do now
I think Santosh is going through so much and rapid growth in his heart
Sports, and not only in sports,
When a person truly commits his/her serious effort,
To become so eager for the purpose,
humans have the potential to make a growth beyond our imagination
A man with great character
He prepared us with the video record of Gainare Tottori
And Santosh is studing this video all day long!
To make our best effort,
We are truly given so much strength from many people!!
I hope this strength will also reach to everyone!!!!
With my pray
With my heart of
I went to ring the bell at the Mt.Daisen
some more extras
Santosh, who is a professional Soccer Player in Nepal, will going to challenge the Japanese soccer league
Honestly, I think it is very difficult.
But! there is a big difference,
when you say "it is not likely to happen"
and when you say "will make it happen no matter what!!"
what is different is what comes afterward
the learning, the satisfaction,
and most importantly,
the degree of accepting the outcome!
Since the Nepalese soccer league have been recessed for a long time,
Santosh's body was already far away from an athlete's body.
While I took him around to many places for playing soccer,
I heard many sever opinions about him, which I could not tell him directly...
But unless he can face the reality,
there is no transformation.
So I recorded his performance in my mobile phone to show him how he is playing
And little by little,
I told him about the honest opinions I heard from other players and coaches,
As well as how we, my family, feel about his current situation.
Unless we have built a trust relationship in between us,
It is very difficult to tell something negative, something hard to accept,
Because it is difficult to make him accept it in a positive way.
But on the other hand, because it is something hard to accept,
If he can accept it, then it can be a great stepping stone for him to make a great progress!!
Yesterday, suddently, Santosh told me
"Now I really know what effort is"
"The effort I was making before, was not a real effort.
Ofcourse I was making the best that I thought I could, but it was not the best.
In these days in Japan, I truly made the real effort,
And now I know"
He looked at his body with happy expression
and he said, regarding his transformation,
"I am proud"
The impression I got from hearing these words from him,
Was not just "being proud"
But I could also sense the confidence and satisfaction in himself
The confidence that he is making true effort
And the satisfaction in seeing the result with his own eyes.
In the things you put your effort into
will create confidence for yourself.
I think a true confidence is something that can only be made
By making effort.
I have some photo that can show you much more dramatic,
But it would be too personal...
So, this is a photo of Santosh in the Summer
When he came back in September, he was in the same shape
His current body
For a while, when he came back for the second time,
We, my family, didnt force him as much
But as gradually, as we created our trust relationship, a bond between us,
Then one time, through argument, I became absolutely candor to him
And I claimed that I will make him much thinner!
Then only 2 days afterward,
An oppurtunity for Santosh to apply for trial test J3 (3rd division league) came to us.
An oppurtunity for Santosh to apply for J3 (3rd division league) came to us.
So we had to change it from making him thinner, to making him athletic
I completely managed his eating habit
Designed his training schedule that will make most effective training for his body
My brother, my husband and I
Have gathered all of our knowledge, experience and memories
And applied the up to date information
And ofcourse, Santosh is making the most effort
But I think effort is something difficult to make only by yourself.
Not only in Sports, but also in job
There are people who supports you
People who make the same effort with you
When there are people cheering for you without being aware
Or giving you words and advices
And making you motivated!
When everything becomes together
Can become somthing beyond our imagination!
Almost every often, I am driving Santosh to Tokyo for an oppurtunity to practice soccer
( It takes 3 hours by car )
Seeing these beautiful scenery on our way
My children is also cooperating to endure beng away with their mother
And for the project of FC Reale
This is also a different kind of effort that they are making
And I think effort will nurture everyone's soul
To build a confidence in ourselves
And to make our life filled with fulfillment!
We drove to Tokyo again for morning practice
People who knows the true effort
I dont think true effort is about enduring the pain and suffering
It is more about how much you can make your dream in a realistic way
How much you can be true to your goal
To be true to yourself
To be true to your people
To be true to your actions
That is how I think is what true effort is
Again and again,
For supporting us and cheering us,
Thank you very much ! ! ! ! !
To make necessary procedure, I had to go through immigration in Germany
Saying good bye to my kids at the airport of Munich , Germany …
Seeing my kids sad faces behind their attitude of trying to be strong
I told to myself ,
" I have to do my best ! ! "
Their flight was canceled, so when I went back into the transit area, I got to see them again ^^@
We had many incidents in this trip , but I am now in Kenya！
I only knew the face of animal kingdom
But the place I am going is the one of the biggest slum in the wirld
It was not a vast savanna to the horizon with blue sky
It was miuntains of trash
And modest houses
But I really liked their charming coloring
Yet, such casual thought blown away in this sever environment
In this trip , I am here for a different project as I usually come for LOLO SITOA's actuvity
It is a huge project partnered with my favorite people
People living this reality so strongly
That I am not so sure if I am good enough to be their partner
And they have such a passionate spirit
Which I would love to introduce about them in another occasion
Which put me into a thinking that "what am I able to do ? "
Not in a way of "what can I do " but in a l senae of "what is it that U can do !"
Then I noticed that I can be active in different places since they have little time to do so
If I can use my shop to manage production and sales ti make this project as bigger as possible
Then more people will be involved , and more awareness can be influenced
Simply , I thought that would be it
Through soccer , in this slum named Kibera , I am thinking
If we can make a project for the children in Japan and for the adults in Japan,
To convey a spirit
To convey something uplifting in their passion！
This is our team in Kibera for this project !!!!
I thought I would be terrified just by myself as a woman, and wanted someone who knows soccer
So I asked Santosh ( professional soccer player and Reale nepal coach ) to come from Nepal ！
( Although he is a captain of the professional team, and they are playing fir a tournament today, he canceled his participation so he can come with me … ！
I am so sorry , and soooo much thanks !! )
These are the members who created an active community in Kibera
They are also living in Kibera, but they are working every day to change the reality of children in Kibera ！
Looking at their tough spirit , I really felt I still have so much to learn
I felt that I have to be much stronger
Then I equipped my camera and video camera
To glimpse into the lives of children playing for the Kibera Soccer League
I took off to the streets of slum city
Apparently, it would be very dangerous, so I hired two police officers
And also being told to bring 3 members from the foundation that lives in Kibera
Such a huge rifle and automatic guns …
The moment I saw them, I got so nervous
Yes, slum is very terrifying
But rather, I am so not used to being around with these guns following me …
My focus was so out of shotting photos
And the ground was always like this
I had to direct all my focus in the act of walking
Sometimes getting those zinc roots on my head
But children were full of smiles
And the kids from the team seemed so honorable
And most of all the adults who involved in this project,
The coordinator of Kibera Soccer team ,
And the coach member of the soccer team
They live in Kibera , and took me around the slum city
Had si much integrity inside !!!!
With such passion !!!
That they were proud to introduce me to their slum city
"We are tough！"
Although living in slum , although they do not have money,
They didn't show me any sadness or such feelings ！
I don't kow how to describe this ….
But they have this special feeling
May be because they are headind to the future with full of hopes
Mothers of the children playing for the team
I was even surprised with myself feeling a sense of hope in this sever environment
Which you can see how I am not focused in shooting photos ….
Mothers are not even in the picture …
It was truly amazing how they managed to live in this city.
These are the people who came out to look for a job.
Every day is a survival for them
But what I am truly amazed is how different they appear by the spirits they have towards life !!
The people I met were so full of passion ！
They were so bright
And they were carrying a dream in their life ！！！
So what I want to say here ,
I am NOT going to talk about how difficult and sad this reality is here
It's not about how the world is filled with unfair lives.
But when you see these peiple,
No matter what kind of environment they are in ,
When a person carries a passion and dream in his/ her heart
They can be so proud ！
Can be so attractuve ！！
They looked so much stronger and vibrant ！
Than this women coming from Japan (me )
That is what I want to convey to everyone ！
In the life of human being , is so magnificent and can be so full of joy ！
As they have conveyed this message to me,
I am very proud
To convey these amazing lives of people living in Kibera！
That is what I feel ！
May this project will last for long long time,
And for my wish to initiate something in the heart of others as many as possible,
I will give in all my effort to do the best that I can possibly do ！
Seeing these wonderful people in Kibera,
I thought I will wait for my visit to enjoy the animal kingdom for several years later
To be proud of myself as much as they are,
I am and will continue,
to LIVE ！！！！！
It is Aya
It is late night, and I am updating a blog from my cell phone.
Today, after coming back from the soccer practice,
My husband ( head coach) told me before putting the kids into sleep
Regarding the last blog, there is a story that continues
For the NODA Racing Academy collaboration camp,
We are bringing 9 selected children from FC Reale
The selected children from the final decision was only 7 children
We could not decide to choose two others, because
It may be too generous,
But we wanted to give one more chance to the children
All coach members agreed to do
That teaching them about the importance of never giving up, and what it is to never give up,
We wanted to observe their attitude afterward and make the final decision for the last 2 players
What we decided to tell the children, is that
Within the following three days, the children have to speak out their desire that they want to go
And we will do interview after one week.
The qualification is above 5th grade ( age 10)
And my daughter, Akane, is also in 5th grade
But at the previous first selection, she was not selected by the coach members
My daughter is always shy
Often in soccer games, she fear to make mistake in her performance
I am wondering whether she is getting this stubborn and reckless blood that I have .... ?
But such girl have came to her father (head coach) , as the first one to come, and said !!!!
" I want to join the camp !!"
" I truly want to become a professional soccer player, and make everyone happy "
Honestly, I was very very happy.
All the coach members of FC Reale Japan have children.
And coaches are most strict to their own children
I think they are going through many kinds of feelings as a parent and child relationship
Which is also the same in our household.
Every child wants to dominate his/her parents
They want their parents to only focus on themselves
They want themselves to be their parents' number one
During practice, they have to call their father as "coach"
And Akane's father is always thinking about Reale
He is thinking about Reale soccer whether he is awake or asleep
And her mother is always away from home
Not just home, but I am not even in Japan
Even if they want to hear my voice through phone, they cannot even do that
Even when I am at home, I am busy doing work, or at rest for a broken body from the strain of long trip
I question myself about my roll , what is a
" Mother "
I am not able to do mother's job sufficiently
Especially that children is able to sense the direction of their parents' focus
I think they are going through an enormously lonesome feelings
But no one knows
What is the happiness for children, and what is the right answer
That is why, I want them to develop their spirit.
Regardless of the environment and situation they are in,
If they could feel the happiness
And if they could live with the feeling of
Then all the things they go through will be the right answer!
My thinking is that
Right answer is something that should be made by yourself
That is why, my daughter's action this time was a great, enormous surprise and joy
" I want to make everyone happy "
When I heard it, I was thinking that she will find out some day
That this particular feeling of her will actually bring happiness to her life
Being raised by such a neglecting mother,
I was very very happy to see that
Gradually, but in a definite way,
She is learning the part that I wanted her to know the most
In such late night, I really wanted to write about this
Excuse me for writing as a fond mother :)
Being allowed by my children and husband to experience a life as a mother,
I am truly thankful from my heart
But I am definitely disqualified to do the mother's job ^^;
That is why, I want to always remind myself
That I will always
Be fully aware of my children's feelings!
Even raising my own children, I cannot do everything by myself
Anything that I do really cannot be done by myself
That is why,
Thank you so much !
Full of thankfulness !